God is a funny notion to most of us. A figure we’re always looking for, but can’t seem to wrap our minds around as well as our hearts are able to feel our fingers tracing over its skin. God is convoluted, marred with the cacophony of man’s hands, dirty from playing its God’s soil, dirtier for not. It’s probably because God is bigger than we imagined and our universe is just one pea in a pie so much larger than life itself.

God is like a metaphor, a symbol of something else, stripped clean from what it was, what it is, and what it will always be. The way I see it, only a fool would look for God and find nothing, unable to find magic in the mundane, if you could even call it that. They forget nothing and everything are the same. 

We've been writing story after story of this great being, wondering who is right and just, who is a sinner and a thief, as if we are not all God's children in the end. By nature, we are divided, each fragment of us part of a greater whole, not like broken pieces, but like lightning fractiling in a prism. This is our spectrum and we’re all trying to find what color we bleed on the scale. 

They tell you the universe is full of right and wrong, but I’ve never seen it like that. I see a color-palette, painting each moment with dark hues and bright lights and everything in between. To say it’s one thing or another is a fool’s way of explaining the happening of things. I, myself, have been tempted to fragment the truth for simplicity's sake. We love our stories to have victors and villains, but I don’t think light is any more holier than darkness in the shade of life, and our experiences as whole are what paints the picture most precisely. 

Telling the truth, in this case, is difficult. It takes heart, but also sight. And words have a peculiar way of confusing things more often than not. They say, those who say they know don’t, and those who know don’t say. If you ever find yourself wondering why that is, well I guess, it’s because the truest truth becomes less true when spoken; because words are finite and this subject matter is not. 

To tell you it like it is, we have to go back before the beginning, back before you could even fathom time, and well before someone even thought of inventing creation. Then, there was only Light. A complete, electromagnetic force, swaying between being a particle and a wave, dancing to the tune of eternity. This light had no end, no beginning and surely nothing resembling gender or form. It was nothing but waves in an eternal ocean of bein’.

God was merely a notion waiting its turn in the cosmic queue, for beyond the dazzling light show, there was a vast expanse of nothing, and not a single solitary soul around to ponder a concept so grand as God, nor any concept for that matter. 

Life, as we would come to know it, was just a dream, and, for the most part, still is. As long as we are alive, however, our fractiled tongues will speak it into existence and sometimes you may have to wonder who is really doing the speaking. But before we came along, we were nothing more than a concept birthed from the dream of the All asking themselves what it would be like to fractile; to not be whole; to not know; to be vast, immeasurable, confusing, complex, vexed, and hungry. There’s nothing this Bein’, this wave of energy, ever wanted more than to know what it was like to fall apart and, maybe, just maybe, come back together again. 

But for the All to shatter, it needed something to shatter into and it gave that task to me. I held in my hands what some might erroneously call an egg, but in reality, it was a vessel containing everything to come. I ran my fingers over its surface, feeling its warm pulse in my hands. Underneath its casing was the thrum of something so sacred and complete that it managed to consume every nook and cranny of my existence, and even the spaces one might deem not-so-existent. I was drawn to it like a candle light in the dark, utterly captivated by its unusual nature.

The vessel had no opening, so without second thought, I planted it inside of me like a seed. As I did, a light burst from within me, shattering the shell into everything. Shards were scattered everywhere like a prize waiting in the darkness with sharp edges; pieces of the Divine strewn all about, seeing who will find them, pick them up, and make good use of ‘em. 

But the shards didn’t just shatter into everything, they also became something else. In the mere flutter of a heartbeat, this one light broke into a mesmerizing cascade of fractal colors; the way water breaks against a rock and its mist hits the sun and makes a rainbow in the ever flowing stream. These vivid hues birthed other divine beings intertwining themselves into the freshly spun tapestry of existence. Suddenly, from within me I could feel a pantheon of forms divided into our purest facets.

It was as if the hand of the All were reaching through the egg, but, since the All is more like an ocean, it was more like the sea turning into rivers and the rivers turning into streams. And suddenly, from one, the All became many and left their own garden, of sorts, to enter ours. 

Light and Matter created a union, which we call Atom: the product of everything and nothing. Atom naturally gave rise to Ewa, most commonly known as Eve: the bringer of life. Ewa lives inside of Atom. She is the empty space, the reason Atom has a soul and the ability to create. 

Through Atom, different aspects of the All began to take shape: Night, Love, Fate, Dreams, and Chaos, who then birthed the Stars, Galaxies, Planets, Nebulae, Black Holes, and other matter of the Cosmos. These forms were not static, nor unconscious, they were the Old Gods history now deems as myth. Each of them rulers in their own right, even today.

Though separate now, we were still the All and together, we created universes, melded with different portions of our fractiled Selves from within the center of our light body, which inevitably birthed your sun; then your earth, then you.  

We gave this place free will mixed with fate, and also a skosh of destiny. Our method was designed precisely, to bring about everything just so, but even we didn't know how the story would end, though we did have our hunches.

Free will is the coveted concept. Some beings prefer not to have it, some beings would do anything for it, but if you are lucky enough to know what it is, you better make sure you make good use of it. Life is a series of moments and each one presents a choice; a choice which can keep you in this dimension or the next. It don’t matter so much what you choose as much as it matters how you choose it, and who you are when you walk through to the other side.

These are the countless little deaths we must endure to know what it means to be alive and have life in the first place. 

Life is full of death. The two are inextricably intertwined. God is in both and so is heaven. I know it can sometimes feel like hell is there too, and, well baby, that’s because it is. They coexist right alongside each other. In a moment, you might find yourself in what feels like eternal bliss, only to find yourself moments later, in your worst nightmare. 

The decision to introduce death and choice was mine to decide. I liked watching things come together and pull apart like chromosomes splittin’ in telophase. So much so, I decided to do the same with myself. If God could fracture, why couldn’t I? So I sowed another seed and birthed a reality within the depths of my own being. As you might imagine, that seed shot up quicker than a spring bean in warm weather and soft soil. Suddenly, stemming from my very essence, was a man, sharing my existence in a single vessel. You might have heard of time where beings were both man and woman, all intricately woven into one harmonious whole. Well, we weren't exactly cut from the same cloth as them tales, but from that moment on, I never found myself with less than two souls dwelling in this vessel of mine. He, answering to the name Amen, was the answer to my prayers. Breathing life into me, while I breathed life into him. We were the dance of the heavens and the bridge to earth, moving hand in hand, keeping the balance of the universe. 

And for the briefest of moments a perfection coated the cosmos. The heavens and the angels sang as we birthed nebulas and watched the stars die. It was beautiful and fleeting, but earth was an apple in the garden of God baby and, let me tell you, we couldn’t wait to fractal again and take a bite.

Music: 1883 Theme Song - Brian Tyler